Nothing to write about

I really don't have anything real important to write about. So be warned this post will probably have no point. eh, oh well.

Ever have those days (months in my case) where you feeling like you are just floating through life, not really making any significant contributions to anything? That's the way I've felt the last couple of weeks. I know that I'm doing stuff, but I feel like I'm not really getting anywhere, or moving forward. And I'm working on all sorts of things; spiritually, mentally, physically, but they are so minute (a lot of detail work, and not big stuff), that I feel like I'm stuck. A lot of what I'm working on I have to deal with to move forward, but it's still an unsettling feeling for me.

Fox has a new go-to word. It use to be "eat" or "outside". For example, he will say my name over and over again until I finally answer him, and sometimes when I finally answer him he would have forgotten what he really wanted to say and would answer "eat" or "outside", his go-to words. He's new go to word--"taco".

I don't know what it is with my toddlers and tacos. When Liam was 2 or 3 he use to have an imaginary cat that he could "hold in my hands" that was named Tacohead. Tacohead stayed with us for a couple of months, and still occasionally gets brought up in conversations.

And now Fox's new word is taco. He inserts it anywhere that he doesn't know a word. He often has full conversations with me, where the only word I pick up on is taco. He also will repeatedly say my name until I say "what Fox?" Then he'll reply "taco". I don't really know what taco means to him, but you have to admit, it's a pretty fun word to say.

I have a fear of being judged. Really. I do. I fear that people will judge me before they figure out how flippin' awesome I really am, and then they'll never get a chance to... I can't tell you how many people I've judged (I've really got to stop doing that) and then fate brought us together and I found out just how far off my judgment was. I've decided (just barely as I type this) that I should start dress and accessorizing so outlandishly that people wont know how to judge me, and then they'll have to get to know me! Awesome! ...or I should just stop judging other people, and then maybe I won't care anymore if they judge me. 'Cause I'm fantastic...just sayin'.

It's only two weeks until Tony and Fox's birthday. I really wanted to do a sushi party until Tony reminded me that I don't know how to make sushi. No, really I do, but Tony is the main su-shay (that's how you say it when your hip) maker in this house, and he really didn't want to make a bizzillion things of sushi for his own birthday party. Dang. And it was going to be so cute, with candy sushi and everything. Now I have to think of a new birthday party idea. Because just a plain party will never do...

I'm kind of afraid to be my real self, because I'm pretty sure that the conversations/thoughts that I have go on in my head would frighten most people...except those suffering from schizophrenia, Alzheimer's, or people from Jersey.

I'm horrible at keeping fish alive. You think it would be easy, water and food, right? (And never leave your fish infront of a fireplace...poor, poor Spanky) Remember our two fish that we got for Easter? One fish, Hey-suess, decide to commit fishercide and some how managed to jump out of his fishy haven (remember the part where fish need water?). He was found as fish-jerky the next morning. Our other fish, Optimus Prime, is still living!.. but has developed an incurable disease called "dropsy". Optimus Prime now has a gianormous belly because his kidneys are failing and all the food he eats just stays in there (Yeah, the other part, food, not so good at.). So now I just wait for him to die, and pray that he goes belly up before his belly explodes. (Gruesome, but 100% true. I'd much rather find a dead fish than an exploded one)

Ah, I should probably end this post on something more uplifting...but I can't think of anything, so that's it...sorry so spastic and random....