Poems

It's weird how when you have three thousand four hundred and fifty nine kids, like we do...or at least that's how many it feels like, sometimes you forget things that make you, you. I'm not going to lie, the last year or so, I've had my hands so full of crazy kids, that sometimes I've forgotten about me.

It's not that I didn't want to do things for me, it's just that during the day I answers ten trillion questions, clean up the same mess sixty thousand times, all while kissing boo-boos, rocking a screaming child (he's pleasant), and making food. I'm just that awesome.

And sometimes at the end of the day, when I finally have time to myself, all I want to do (can do) is veg and read a book or watch a movie. And that's cool.

But sometimes I wonder, 'What did I use to do? What made me happy?'

And I have lots of things, but one of the thing is writing poems.

I use to write them all the time in high school and junior high. And they make me happy. So I apologize to those who hate to read poems, that occasionally I have a very random poem posted. But it makes me happy. :)

I had some one ask me one time if I wrote one of my posted poems. Yes. All the poems on this blog, unless sited otherwise, and mine. Here's two more, random, and short, make-me-happy poems. And they have no titles. Because that's what all the cool kids are doing these days.

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How wrong have I had this life;
When I thought it was to make jealous or impress
In truth it was only to do my best.
How foolish was I to think that God shared
The feelings of what others thought and cared.

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In the lines,
Between and betwixt,
Is the heart of the author mixed.
If you look so carefully there
You'll find she bore her whole soul to share.

New Year 2015

I haven't been very good at keeping up with my blog the last six, or so, months. I got behind. And now I'm caught up to all of the pictures that I have on my computer, but I have 20 bizzillion on my phone, but the computers starting to have problems, so I don't dare to put them on the computer and take up more space. And worst of all it's made me wait on my blogging. Even though I have a few ideas to blog every week.

 So I figure I can either sit and wait for my computer to magically heal itself so I can catch up (but that's not going to happen, so basically I'd just ignore my blog until I forgot about it), or I can write what I think of, when I think of it, and worry about pictures later.

I've decided on the latter.

I'm a goal setter. I enjoy setting goals, and I really like when I accomplish goals. I'm pretty good at doing short term goals, not so good and doing long term goals. So this year for my New Years resolution, I've decided to do an array of short term goals.

So that I will accomplish them.

And not feel like a failure.

Maybe one day I'll be able to do long term goals.

I have 4 or 5 different goals that always come up when I think of goals, but they are long term goals, in fact, a lot of them are lifetime goals.

Things of who I want to become.

To say my goal for 2015 is "exercise 3 times a week" doesn't work for me. Because that's a goal that isn't just a 2015 goal. It doesn't have an end date. I want to be fit and exercise, well, forever.

My main life goals all fall under these categories
-Exercise/Health
-Relationships-Being a better mother, friend, and spouse
-Spirituality-Reading scriptures, praying, building a stronger testimony
-Personal things I want to do. Mostly creative things, like writing, crafting.

Every time I think about goals I always come back to these, and I probably always will. But I feel like I need to fix and accomplish each area in my life completely, all at the same time. And then I get frazzled and don't complete any of them. So I'm taking it one thing, one month at a time. And January's goal will help with, well all of it.

But don't worry. It's a simple goal.

Well, sort of .

January's goal is- being on the phone less.

More specifically less social media. It's extremely easy for me right now to be on my phone...a lot. It's always with me, and if there is any time that I get bored there's magical places called Facebook and Instagram where I can suddenly live someone else's life...or something. I'm not sure exactly what the draw is, 20 times a day, for me, but I know that I keep looking for satisfaction in my phone, and I keep coming up empty.

I don't want to get out completely. I've lived in 2 different states and 4 different towns in the time that I've had Facebook, and it's one of the ways I have contact with friends from these areas, including my family. So I'm limiting my time (and this sounds ridiculously sad, and mostly it's embarrassing, but it'll help me) to 3 times a day.

15 minutes in the morning
30 minutes at nap time
and 30 minutes after the kids go to bed

That way when that time is up, I'm done. And I'm not picking my phone up every 10 minutes hopelessly waiting for someone or something to entertain me. I'll have to find something else to do, like read the scriptures, pay attention to my kids, get up and move or craft.

 Wow, seriously, this post turned into more of an embarrassing confessional than I meant it to.

And maybe after a month of this limited time I'll get out of the habit and be able to keep the same schedule for the next month. But for right now I'm just taking it one month at a time.

Alrighty January 2015, lets see if I can keep my goal. Wish me luck.