That Mom

I worry about a lot of things as a mom.

I worry about immunizations and if getting them will make my kids sick. And if not getting them will make my kids sick.

I worry about schools and if public schools are trying to dumb down my kids. Or if homeschooling would make them anti-social. If I should put my kids in preschool or keep them home just a little bit longer.

I worry about the food I feed them. If things made out of white flour will eventually give them cancer. If that bag of Cheetos will make them fat. If that sugary snack will give them diabetes.

I worry about the friends they make. If I've taught them to be kind, but at the same time stand up for what they feel and believe.

If I've taught them to respect their teachers and other adults but not be lulled into automatically believing everything every adult tells them, and to still think for themselves. To be themselves and to never lose sight of that.

I worry about if I'm being a good role model for them. If when they look at me do they see someone who's trying to stay healthy, follow what she knows to be true, and to stay true to herself, even though sometimes I'm still trying to figure out who I am.

I worry.

I worry a lot.

And then I came across this picture

Tony programmed our computer to use the pictures that are in iphoto to be our background, and today this picture came up. I love it. But I got a surprise when my browser and other windows were open and it covered up all of the picture except the top left corner. Guess who's there?

That face, reflected in the storefront window and silhouetted between the back slats of the chair is one I love. It's beautiful. It's unguarded. Not worrying about the way she is perceived, if she looks okay at that moment. It's not worried about schools, or shots, or if what she's taught her kids is sticking. 

Above all, that face is happy. Truly, undeniably happy. Because at that moment she's focused on one of the only things that can bring true joy--her family. 

I adore this picture. And not just because of the two ridiculously cute munchkins in the spot light but because of what it caught and all it says behind the scenes. 

I'm going to worry. There's no helping that. Every parent does. But this mom is the one I want my kids to remember. The mom who's behind the scenes. Who's ridiculously proud of her children, encouraging them, being there for them when they have problems, or make mistakes, or have a bad day. Who's watching them, praying for them, and whose happy.

Not because she doesn't have things to worry about, but because she's focused on them. Her family. 

Dear Tony

Dear Tony,

About tonight....

And pretty much the last three months (if not longer) worth of nights.

I have a confession to make. I'm selfish. Or lazy. Or whatever else you want to call it. Not all the time. And sometimes I want to be but I can't. But if you ever wonder why it is that when you come home late from work and things aren't done...that's why. I'm selfish.

Take tonight for example. Tonight I had great plans of baking and cleaning and blogging, possibly a craft or two, but here's how tonight really went.

When I decided to start on my grand plans, suddenly two children came in from playing in the snow and needed snacks. Then the next child decided Lego's needed to be played with. In the kitchen. And while trying to step over the bucket of legos, he misjudged the distance, and instead stepped on the side of the bucket, sending a cascade of lego bits flying through the kitchen.

You'd be proud of me though, I calmly told him to pick them up. Two hours later they were completely picked up and put away...

When those things where taken care of I thought about starting on my wonderful plans again- and a whole blog post was written! Then the baby was hungry. Again. So I fed him.

Then it was dinner time. The homemade pizza I've been planning on making for the last three days got put on back burner, again, because by the time the baby was done nursing there was no way I could get it done quickly enough to feed your starving older children. Soup it was. I tried to make half of it with a baby on my hip, but then decided I needed to put him down and asked Emma to rock him in the swing. She's quite the handy little thing because she got him to sleep! Hooray! Maybe my plans would come true!

We sat down and ate. Four spills and a bizzillion refills later we where done. As we where cleaning up Fox dropped the bowl and spoon holding avocados. They splattered everywhere. He looked at me, and causally said, "You're going to have to clean that up too,"  then turned and walked away. That's when the baby started crying.

Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone. I didn't even yell or cry. I cleaned up the mess with the baby on my hip, and with the help of the kids managed to get the dishes done. Hooray!

But my hopes of accomplishing my plans where dashed because the baby was hungry. Again. So I fed him.

Then it was time for the bed time routine.

I think I have something wrong with my brain. I can't manage to say anything right. Tonight I told the kids, "go get your---brushed teeth," and "I think you have clean pj's in the dishwasher," and "Get that--washer thing--to wash this up," because I couldn't think of the word washcloth.

Or maybe it's because I have to say things 12 times before anyone listens to me, so my brain decides to make a game out of it...In one such instant after I had managed to spit out, "Go brush your teeth" six times, Liam finally stood up and mumbled to himself, "I never get to do anything I want." Then stomped in to brush his teeth.

 I didn't even flip out. He was finally doing what I asked. And the other kids followed him, so I took it as a win.

Finally after several books, a bizzillion-million-trillion questions, and a few magic tricks your three oldest are in bed, and your youngest sits on my lap chewing on my wrists, as I try to type, and only whines occasionally.  I think he's hungry. Again.

Anyways, the reason for this letter is so that when you come home and see splatters of avacado on the outside of the trash can, thats because I missed them. And when you look in the dishwasher and it looks like the dishes have been thrown in there by a six year old, they have been. And the laundry thats sat in our front room for the last two days, waiting to be folded, it's still going to sit there. Because I'm done. I'm selfish and I'm done.

So now I'm going to take this adorable, chunky, slobbery piranha, nurse him -again- and put him to bed. And then I'm going to sit on the couch and watch a show, or read, or zone, because now its my time.

But don't worry, I'll start on my great plans of baking, cleaning, ect tomorrow.

Love your still sane wife,
              Kira

Bowling 2014 Style

Sometimes in Ames we get real bored during the winter because it's so. stinking. cold. So we are always looking for new things to do. Usually bowling is out of our budget, but last month a local bowling place was having a great family deal we couldn't pass up. We had a great time bowling (a first for Fox) and really wanted to take home the kids shoes. They are so dang cute!! 

(Sorry the pictures are so bad. The bowling alley isn't exactly the best lighting for phone photos :))

What does the Fox say?

Me-"Fox will you come and put this away?"
Fox-"But I was just pickin' my toenail."

"Fake Christmas trees make me drive crazy!"

"Mom will you keep a look on my toys?"

"Mom, I switched up my mind. I like the name Fox, but my new name is Wolf." (It later changed to Wolfman)

While singing the ABC's when he gets to the lmnop part Fox sings "animal no see," because clearly that makes more sense.

"My pajamas smell like hedgehogs." Said like its a good thing. His pajamas did have pictures of hedge hogs on them.

Fox in the shower- "AAAhhhh!! Its burning!"
Me, franticly- "Do I need to turn it down?!"
Fox, calmly- "no." Several seconds later "But its burning my arm off."

-Last one is from Liam-

After playing single player twister in their room for several minutes I inform them that more than one player can play. Liam replies, "More than one person can play? I think it's a pain in the butt to even have one person do it."

Kira's birthday & New Year's Eve

Can I just say that I have the best husband ever? Because I do. Tony had to work on my birthday night. So the night before my birthday he made me a margarita pizza, something I have been craving ever since I tried one with the Bryners when they came to visit last summer. It was awesome!! Then for breakfast on my birthday he made me raspberry crepes. He know how to win me over. 

After he left for work the kids and I made shrinky-dinks (which where awesome. Thanks Mom!), then I hung out with an adorable 2 month old. I'd say it was a pretty fantastic birthday. Especially since later in the week we went on a date to Red Lobster and then got yummy apple cider and hot chocolate at Starbucks. It was awesome.

New Years Eve was a pretty fantastic day too! In the early afternoon we drove down to Des Moine to meet the Naugle family as they made the trek to Chicago where they are moving. I'm really more excited about it than I should be, but I'm pretty sure we will get to see them more now than when they were in Utah!! Wahoo!! :) When we got back we had a party with friends to go to so we stopped to quickly get a pizza. The pizza was super hot, hence the picture of Tony holding out the window so the freaking freezing temps would quickly cool it down. I thought it was funny, especially when one of the kids commented "I hope no one steals our pizza!"

New years day Tony worked so we entertained ourselves by putting tape on our faces.

The end.

2014

It's 2014. That's crazy, hu?

Looking back at 2013...I'm glad it's over. It was a hard year for me. I'd venture to say that it was one of the hardest year yet for me. Especially the beginning of the year. But it was also one of the most rewarding years. Because of it being one of the hardest years I feel like I've learned what I need to learn, grown from it and been able to move on. We had Mr. Moo #4 (that's Ander) join our family and now I can't imagine life without him. And I've had several experiences, especially in the last couple months, that remind me just how much Heavenly Father knows me and is watching over me. So even though it was a hard year, it was a needed year.

I often go back and read through my posts to see what was happening years before. This morning I read through the January 2013 posts, specifically the one on goals. It was interesting to read last years goals. To see how I did on them, the ones I still need to work on, the ones I've accomplished, and the ones that really don't matter to me anymore. Weird how time changes what's important and what's not.

This year I've got a few "New Year's" goals also, but they are vastly different from last year. Mostly because I've discovered I go over my goals often, apply new ones and get rid of the ones that don't matter. So this year I've set two/three very simple goals, then throughout the year I know I'll add and change many "sub-goals".

 My two main goals are to make my bed and to take my vitamins everyday. That's it. But for those who know my vitamin taking habits and how much I HATE swallowing pills...maybe this is a bigger goal than I thought. ;) My last goal is less of goal and more of a motto for 2014, or something to help in my decision-making. This year I want to focus less on "stuff" and more on experiences. To give my family and myself less stuff and more experiences.

Ah, 2014. You are going to be crazy and hopefully good. This year is Tony's and my tenth anniversary! This year we have four kids. Crazy. This is the year that Tony will graduate with his BS. This is the year (or shortly after) we will discover where we will be going next, with school, with moving, and generally in life.

 Oh, 2014, be good to us!

Christmas 2013

 Merry Christmas from the Bundy's!! And the Hulk. 

By the way, I have four kids now. That's still kind of crazy to me sometimes.