Gingerbread houses

(so I finally got the pictures off of Tony's phone!! So expect a plethora of post over the next couple of days. Mostly from December and January :))

Notable decorations:

Liam had a pumpkin patch, a dog, and a snowman 

Emma made a "happy house" (her words) with a dragon 

Fox had a graveyard complete with skeleton in a candybar coffin

Sisyphus

Ever had one of those day where no matter what you do or how hard you try, you still feel like a failure?

That's been my last week.

I'll admit, sometimes I feel like the coolest mom in the world, the most kind, loving, and attractive wife this side of the Mississippi, and pretty much the most fantastic person that you will ever meet. And those days are great! But this week has not had even one of those days.

This week I felt like Sisyphus (the guy in Greek mythology condemned to push a huge boulder up a hill, and when he reached the top it would fall back down), constantly going with nothing to show for it. Especially yesterday.

Yesterday was a snow day. Amesinites must be wusses because there was a little bit of snow and wind and they canceled school. (Actually, I'm pretty sure its because Ames is a smaller town, so a lot of teachers come from other even smaller towns, in the boondocks, and their drive, with snow and wind, is not safe) Not that I'm complaining, I love that I didn't have to go out in it. So my kids were home and I feel like I worked like crazy cleaning all day. I hardly sat down. But when Tony came home the house was a disaster. How did that happen?

Today wasn't any better. Nothing got done. I did manage to get my visiting teaching done...on the last day of the month...and by just taking treats to those I visit. But now, as I look around my house, the kitchen has a sack of flour on the floor, with dishes piled in the sink, the dining room has cereal boxes, honey, and drinks on the kitchen table with dried bits playdoh, toys, and crumbs scattered on the floor, the living room needs to be vacuumed, the computer room has coats, shoes, and books littering the floor, the bathroom...don't even get me started (although I did do all of the laundry yesterday and so for .3 seconds all of the laundry was clean. Wahoo?).

That's my life right now. Pushing against something that will never budge.

It'll get better, right?

My kids. I'd like to think my kids are happy. In fact, as I write this, Emma is in her room singing herself to sleep. That's happy, right? As I drove my kids around with me tonight delivering visiting teaching goods, Liam and Emma joked with each other, giggled, and where goofy. I should have enjoyed that. But to be honest, I was annoyed. Why were they being so noisy?

I should have enjoyed it.

I'd like to think that every mom goes through phases like this.

 I hope they do.

 I think they do.

 Because it seems every so often something just gets thrown out of whack, and it takes me a while to get back to feeling like the most awesome person in the world again. Hopefully it happens soon, because I'm sick of not being happy at the silly little things my kids do. I'm sick of not having a clean house. I'm sick of not being me.

So I'm just going to sit here and listen to my little girls sweet singing voice, leave the mess where its at, and start better tomorrow.

A trade off

So I've made this argument to Tony several times. As of yet, it has not taken, but I'm still trying.

 I will cook, clean, do dishes, vacuum, dust, take care of kids, do the bills, straighten rooms, sweep, mop, clean out the fridge and cupboards, shovel the driveway, clean the car, and anything else I can think of, if he will just do the laundry and clean the bathroom. That's it!

 I despise those two chores more than any other chore I can think of. I hate, hate, HATE laundry especially. I keep trying to talk myself into the fact that laundry will be fun! I can just sit there and watch tv while folding endless amounts of clothes--but it never works out that way. So, usually, at least two loads of clean laundry sits in a basket, or the dryer, downstairs and I say things like, "I think you have clean underwear down in the dryer..." Really, it's not working.

And having two boys under the age of eight makes for a nasty clean up when it comes to the toilet. Put on top of that the fact that my kids can't seem to manage to spit their toothpaste spittle into the sink, but instead it ends up on the counter, floor, or occasionally bathtub (what the?!), it makes for one, unhappy, bathroom-cleaning mama.

But I think that my trade off with Tony is completely fair. Now if I could just make him believe that.

As I'm writing this, my house looks as if there have been several large explosions of clothes toys and books...so perhaps I should start doing the cooking, cleaning, ect. and then maybe he'll believe me ;)

Goals

So lets talk about my granola lady post. I had 3 new things that I was trying out.

1st the laundry detergent- I still love it. Still use it.

2nd the no shampoo thing- I had a goal to try it for at least 3 weeks. About a week into it my hair (especially my highlights and parts that had been colored) began to be extremely dry and brittle, and snarled like nothing else. I never had the grease phase. I only had damaged hair. So after a week I stopped. I didn't want it to get more damaged (I'm still trying to get it to recover). I know they say to adjust the amount of baking soda your using, but I couldn't let my hair get any worse. Maybe I'll try again another time.
But being married to a man who's going through all of his chemistry classes right now has some perks. When he found out what I was trying to do he got interested and started to do some fancy-dancy formulas on why baking soda and water would or would not work to wash your hair.

(This next part is brought to you by Tony. Still written by Kira, but he's the one who taught me all of it. So if it's wrong blame it on him :) )

First off NaHCO3 or sodium bicarbonate is the chemical name for baking soda. Add some water/H2O and you get the chemical equation of

NaHCO3 + H2O-->CO2+NaOH+H20

Pretty fancy hu? Yeah, at least all this money we are forking out for school is counting for something. :) Okay, so breaking down that last part of the equation CO2=carbon dioxide (you know, that stuff you breath out), H2O=water, and do you want to guess what NaOH is? Sodium hydroxide or better known as lye. That stuff you use in soap. That's toxic. Of course its not nearly as toxic with the extra H2O. But still, all I can think is, there has got to be a better way of naturally cleaning your hair than rubbing only water and  lye all over your head, but technically it does clean your hair.

3rd no sugar thing- basically went out with Christmas...but luckily I got probiotics that seem to be helping Fox. :)

So after all of these failed goals I started to get down on myself and thought, 'I probably shouldn't make any goals for the new year, because I'll just fail them.'

 But really I'm not that dramatic, or pessimistic.

So I started to look at all of the goals that I have accomplished.  Do you know that I wrote a story and sent it into a magazine to be published? I don't know if it will be, but that was a huge step for me! This year I have made my own all natural, multi-purpose, cleaning solution and laundry detergent. I exercised.  Not every day, heck, some times not even every week, but I made the goal to exercise when I could, and not beat myself up about when I couldn't. So I did. In August I made the goal to read scriptures every day. Did I do it every day? No. But with making that extra effort I finished the Book of Mormon on December 30th.

I'm pretty much awesome at making and keeping goals, if I do say so myself. And I do. And so for my new goals-

I have a friend who sums up her goals for the new year in one word. I think I'm going to follow suit. My word-

Begin.

My number one goal this year is to begin each day a little earlier and with hope. And I'm hoping that little change will be my keystone habit (Never heard of keystone habit? Read The Power of Habit. It's awesome!) and all my other goals will fall in place.
For example:
I'd like to begin to sell things online
I'd like to begin making my own soap (hence where Tony and I learned about the chemical equation for lye)
Begin to write in a scripture journal when I read
Begin to have more educational activities for my kids to do

And many more. But really it all starts with the beginning of my day. So that's why my goal for 2013 is to Begin.

Hope and Prayer

I just dropped my kids off at school. I hugged and kissed them and I was okay. Until I started to drive away. I cried.

After reading about the shootings that happened in the elementary school in Connecticut on Friday I cried. I think that any parent who read about that incident cried and were horrified and sickened at the horrendous acts that occurred.

But I thought I was going to be okay today. In fact, I didn't even think about it until my children left my sight and I was no longer in control. And thats when I cried.

I hope that I have taught them well enough. I hope I have portrayed and instilled in them a faith in Jesus Christ. I hope that it has been driven home that should they ever be afraid or sad, they can pray and receive comfort. I hope I have raised them so that should a tragedy or disaster occur, they will be able, through Christ, to be a beacon of light, a proclaimer of hope, and a giver of peace to others around them.

I have an opinion on gun control. But this tragedy did not make me turn to that, or want to push an agenda. It showed me just how important teaching my children true principals are. It made me see how urgently I should help them to learn all they can of Christ and his gospel. Because when it comes right down to it, guns or no guns, things are going to happen. People are going to get hurt or die through natural disasters, human error, and human stupidity or wickedness.

How important is it to teach my kids to be more. To be above that. To know there is a God, and through his son all man kind can be saved. That they can know how to receive comfort when comfort is required, and that they can walk uprightly before him. That is my hope and prayer. That I have and can continue to teach them of Christ.

So will I pull my kids from school and homeschool? No. I have thought of homeschooling before and may consider it in the future. But if I homeschool it will not be out of fear. Fear has no grounds when faced with the light of Christ.

I'm that weird granola lady...

Like you all didn't know that already. There are very few times when people figure out that I've had all three of my kids at home that I don't get a "Really?!" (said like, "Are you freaking crazy!") So I guess it's no new news. But unfortunately I'm just getting more crazy. ;)

In early September I decided to make my own laundry soap. Emma's always had adverse reactions to most laundry soaps, and smells, and dyes. Her skin seems to be doing better now, but I wanted to try a homemade kind and see how I liked it. I used this recipe  and I have to admit, I LOVE it!! I made about a 1/3 of a batch the beginning of September and I have still have enough to make it until January. So a full batch should last you a whole year, and it cost around $40 to make (depending on the scent things you get), and it doesn't have all the harsh chemicals. Its awesome! I love the smell, the way it cleans, and how it leaves my clothes.

Next in my weird granola lady stuff....

See this

 This is my forehead and the lumps and bumps that have been on it for the past year (sorry about the bad picture. They're there, I promise). They are mostly around my hair line and they will not go away. They are not pimples or boils, I really have no idea what they are. And all I can figure is they must be a reaction from chemicals in my shampoo. So the other day I came across this site. That's right, I'm going to no shampoo. It sounds crazy (it may very well be crazy), but I'm hoping by getting rid of chemicals and using natural things that these stinking bumps will go away. Also it's suppose to make your hair super awesome (after about 3 weeks), and that would be nice too, since my hair naturally dried is psycho.
Here it is today-

(hello white face)

Not too bad right? That's because its not dried naturally, its was dried in two french braids. I really need to get a picture of it air dried right out of the shower. It's horrible. So there you go. Tony told me that he's okay with me going on this "no shampoo" adventure, as long as he gets to have the veto, and as soon as I start to stink or something he's calling it. :) I was good with that. I don't want to stink.

Last granola thing--
Fox is suffering from some type of yeast infection. Wahoo? So for the past 2 weeks we have become a no sugar no white flour family. Let me tell you it is NO FUN! We enjoy making delicious foods and stuff, and no sugar or white flour kills a lot of what you want to eat. However we have found some pretty cool recipes like hot chocolate made with agave, whole wheat pizza dough (I used all wheat and honey instead of sugar), and we switched out wheat flour for white flour in a lot of our other recipes. It's been working out pretty well, but still hard when I want those cookies or cakes (of course I still eat some of those when the kids go to bed, wahahaha!)

My favorite part though, was today Fox was in the bath and making me pretend food to eat. When I would ask him for cookies, candies, cakes or ice cream he would deny me those foods because "dey will make your bottom hurt"and "dey have sugar in them." I have trained him well...we've got to get him over this junk ;)

Sassy

I had three incidences with the kids today which showed their incredibly sassy side, but still made me giggle.

#1-
I made toast for breakfast, but evidently it wasn't enough. So while I was running around getting things ready, I gave Emma permission to make more. I had taken the bread out of the freezer just a few minutes before so it was still very frozen, and I'm pretty sure the temperature or time gage was very low. Being a good and helpful girl she took two pieces of bread and toasted them in the toaster. When they popped up I noticed that they didn't seem very browned but she buttered them and then happily gave one to Fox and started eating the other.

 Fox looked at his barely warmed toasted and replied, "But Emma! You have-a cooked it first!!"

But then, in true Fox fashion, happily ate the toast.../bread.

#2-
Emma is really into dancing and singing right now. Tonight she came in a said, "I love to sing, Mom!" (After listening to her make up nonsense/slightly-annoying words and strange noises/singing for the past two days I was a little afraid of what was coming.)
I then had a short conversation with her about singing, and she sang me a song (in the same fashion that Buddy the elf sings on "Elf" to his dad when they first meet) that went something like this:

I love my Mom!
My Mom is great!
My Dad is great too!
And I love my Dad!
My Mom and Dad are the greatest Mom and Dad that we have in our family!!

Which was so sweet but made me giggle a little. But I laughed even more when Liam snottily yelled from the other room, "Mom and Dad are the only Mom and Dad we have in our family!" Laughed and then scolded the boy for pointing out something that could have made his sister feel bad. It didn't. She just giggled to herself and then when about her business.

#3-
Right before bed Tony turned on some music for Emma to bust-a-move to. She showed us her dancing skills, including a new dance style she made up called "karate dancing." It may be the new rage. Hi-Ya!

As all kids do, she kept saying, "Mom! Mom! Watch me!" and then would dance some more. Being late (okay only 7:45ish, but I was tired!!), I laid my head on Tony's shoulder and watched him messing with his phone while it was blasting out the music Emma was dancing to. My eyes had been off Emma for .2 seconds when she said, "MooOooM! Watch me! I'm the one dancing not the music!!"

Sassy kids!! But so silly.

In another unrelated--well slightly related...but mostly unrelated--story, Fox is growing up and it's killing me. But before he loses his toddler sayings I figured I had better write them down. Or at least the one I remember. Fox use to (rarely any more :(   ) use the phrase "yes-a-do" constantly.

If you were telling him, "You can't have an apple because we don't have any." He's reply would be "yes-a-do!"

"Fox, I don't want a stuffed animal on my head."
"Yes-a-do!"

"I don't think we can go to the park today."
"Yes-a-do!"

It was my favorite. But it's slowly being replaced with actual words. Ridiculous. He needs to stop growing up. :)