Dear Liam,

You've had a rough last couple of days. You've done some things wrong and we are working on making them right again. As I was making you write an apology note to the person that you wrong, you started to cry. I took you in my arms and while holding your little sobbing body asked why you were crying. You replied "I'm scared."

I cried. I held you close to my chest a sobbed along with you. One day, as a parent you'll understand how hard that was. I wanted to take away your pain. To shrug it off and say, "you don't have to." To make you smile, and take away your discomfort, fear, and remorse. But I knew I couldn't. I knew that you had to go through the pain, fear and remorse to grow and learn and be better. So I just held you as tight as I could and we both cried.

Afterwords I picked you up and sent you on your way, alone, scared, but with a brave face and a resolve to do what was right. I promised you that you would feel better afterwords. And after you left I cried some more.

You came home and with solemn relief replied, "I did it, Mom." You were happy. Humbled, but happy. We made a plan so that the wrong wouldn't be done again. You had me write out a list of "can do" and "can't do." That was very smart. And as I sit here writing this I can't help but cry again because of the relief that I feel that you did it and are happy again.

I think I've been able to touch a little bit of what God feels, today. Liam, you're going to make mistakes again. No matter how much I try to lie to myself and pretend that you won't, you will. I have. Your dad has. And to make things right again is hard. Many times I've prayed and plead, "I'm scared."

I have no doubt that our Father in Heaven has at times wished that all of my anguish and fear could just magically be taken away. That's he's cried with me at times, but knows that the only way for us to grow and be better is go through the pain and discomfort until the process is over.

At times you will make a mistake that can not simply be solved by an apology letter. But this is where Heavenly Father is so much cooler than I ever could be. He sent Jesus Christ to suffer and pay for our sins and mistakes, and if we'll just do all that we can to make it better, he'll do the rest.

You are so loved Liam. By your Heavenly Father. By your family. And especially by me. As you grow up and make more mistakes, remember that feeling of relief that you felt when you told me "I did it, Mom." And know that even though sometimes things look dark and bleek and that you'll never be forgiven, light and relief are waiting if you'll just ask.

I'm so proud of you. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. I love you, Liam.

Love Mom